Wounded Moose TV Episode 5: Turbo a rookie for life? from Wounded Moose TV on thewoundedmoose.com.
Watch with interest as Turbo commits the cardinal sin of not finishing a beer in the Wounded Moose locker room. Once punishable by death back in the day when Jim Younker was part of the Original 2, now it appears Turbo will be rookie FOR LIFE!
Last night Turbo committed a grave sin. Something so deplorable that it hurts to even write this. While celebrating our disgusting entrance into the next round of the playoffs, Turbo put down a full beer (there is evidence he did take a "swig") and LEFT IT!. This is Wounded Moose by-law 001."Though shall not leave beer or face permanent rookie status."
In a conference call with the Wounded Moose Internal Affairs Department, Jim Younker served as material witness. It was concluded that Turbo did indeed leave a full beer minus a swig. This is punishable with permanent rookie status, or until someone else f-cks up worse and dethrones him.
Luckily for Turbo, he was given a way out of permanent rookie status. He can shave his #17 into his chest for the rest of the winter and summer seasons and he will lose the status for next winter. Alternatively, he can ingest about 1ml of concentrated Habanero extract provided by JSB, and remain a rookie until the end of the Niagara Falls tournament.
I can report early indications are that he has chosen to ingest the concentrated Habanero extract, so please show up next week to watch the ring of fire develop for Turbo.
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ReplyDeleteFirst off:
ReplyDelete1. As I explained on Wednesday, I drank a beer, it just happened to be my team mates' and it was an honest mistake. Had someone let me know the situation I would have immediately come back to the room and finished that beer without arguement.
2. No way am I shaving 17 in my chest. Yes, it would probably grow back by the next weeks' game, however, I'm not willing to have a shaved chest until the end of the summer.
3. I already agreed to the Habanero sauce. If you want to watch me ignite on fire from the inside out, then show up Wednesday night.
4. Never, and I mean never, was it mentioned that I would still be a rookie until the end of Niagara. As soon as the Habanero sauce is injested rookie status would be eliminated. My lawyer will be in touch unless we can come to a mutual understanding.
Regards,
Turbo