Wounded Moose Microeconomics

Kelly's Choice

After becoming a married man, Matt has some serious decisions ahead of him. Clearly one decision is more significant than all of the others: Will he choose to be a friend of Ox or a fan of the Blackhawks? With Ox's arch nemesis ready to skate for the Hawks, Matt no longer has the luxury of doing both. He must choose to where one of these two jerseys:

Option #1 - Carcillo Jersey

Option #2 - Ox Jersey

Kelly Hosts Insane Ball Hockey Game for his STAG!

Nothing really needs to be said here except ......BOOOOOOOOOOM!

That and make sure you turn off the 3D on the lower bar if you don't have your red and blue glasses! Ok Russ?
Photos of the event!

Happy Birthday Jay!

In honour of Jay, our new Captain for The Wounded Moose 2011-2012 season, Turbo wishes him the happiest of birthdays.  Luckily for Jay, The Wounded Moose exited the playoffs in a tough loss in the semi-finals.  Why lucky you say? Well let's take a step back in time, and re-visit a Championship game in which we needed the services of Jay who was named Captain for the next season.  Did he fulfill that role? Sadly no, because he attended a Tom Petty concert and he was HEARTBROKEN to lose his captaincy!

Fast forward to this year, Jay gets named Captain again for the upcoming season.  Confident that he got his Captaincy back, he decided to go on vacation this time to the East coast.  Luckily enough for Jay, but unlucky for the Moose, a tough loss saw the Moose exit the playoffs, and allowed Jay not to miss yet another Championship.  With that in the past, Jay looks forward to a successful 2011-2012 winter season as Captain of The Wounded Moose.  Yesterday, we celebrate his birthday and wish him many lobster meals and tons of great seafood!!!

Happy Birthday JSB!!!!!  Bring home a pet lobster for the boys for a Jimmy BBQ!

BLACKBERRY is superior to the iPHONE, so says KELLY!

For those of you who thought Matt Kelly would go to his grave clutching his iPHONE and you would have to pry it from, you just might be mistaken!

In an email today to 25, Kelly admitted that Blackberry's were superior, and SMARTER. Shocking news coming from a lifetime butt buddy of Steve Jobs. Kelly is even rumoured to be wearing the black mock turtle neck with worn in jeans to his nuptials at the end of the month. This is now in question as he may trade that in for a three piece suit, BALSILLIE STYLZ!!!!!!!!!

Editing Blog
Matt Kelly [kelevision@gmail.com]
Sent: Thu 18/08/2011 3:24 PM
To:

I have promised **** to remove a post for him. I have to admit, I can't seem to access it on my Mac or iPHONE but I know you and your Blackberry can do it, so I would greatly appreciate it. Just this once I admit to it being better, but they are still going to be bought out.

---
MATT KELLY




This reporter has only one word to say to that:

BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Oldest Living Moose Struck By Lightning

The Toronto Star is reporting that the World's Oldest Living Moose Jimmy 'Elbows' Younker was struck by lightning yesterday at his King City home. Witnesses claim that Mr Younker was coming home after a tough loss at his hockey game when God decided to finally put an end to the feisty sexagenarian (yes, he will be called that for a decade now). After trying many times to put Jimmy in the ground, God decided to finally send his only son Thor to finish him off.

What God, Thor and the coroner hadn't predicted was that Jimmy had previously stopped off for a few rusty nails and a hot tubbing to cool down after the hockey game. The mix of alcohol, chlorine and hockey sweat was ignited by Thor's lightning hammer and transformed Jimmy into the shirtless red behemoth pictured here (only artist rendering available as Star photographers were killed during the clash).

The melee, lightning and the fact that Jimmy's heart rate was going 88mph caused him to travel back in time to the days when he and Toe Blake were going double dutch on a sweathog in DogFuck Alberta, which at the time was the capital of the province. Both Jimmy's quickly dispatched with Toe and finished off the lovely young lass, making Jimmy the first man to ever have a threesome with himself. Yet another artists rendering was discovered in the archives, though the meaning of PFWIP is still unknown.

Moose Rumor Mill

Two Five pictured here with Cookie Monster

After last weeks' post game festivities, rumors started swirling that Jason Cohn (aka Two Five) may be ousted as VP of Post Game Food Procurement.  Speculation began after Johnny Van (aka Van) entered a solid post game order.  When we reached Van for a comment on the recent developments, he simply stated "That's how that's done...".  Notably absent from the order were Cohn's trademark Nachos as well as Zingers - the pizza also contained toppings.  Cohn, notorious for over-ordering and frequently absent in recent weeks, could not be reached for comment.