One of the major mysteries surrounding the Wounded Moose, besides what disaster might next befall Ox's battered penis, is where is Aldo? The Coach is a worldwide celebrity, known from North York to as far away as Southern North York. One wonders how such an icon could avoid detection. Well, it turns out he's been doing what many of us suspected: training to become an elite UFC championship fighter:
UFC CHAMPION ALDO TO DEFEND TITLE AT UFC 129 IN TORONTO
Incorrectly listed here as a featherweight, Aldo is obviously looking to drop a few dozen pounds before his marquee match-up in Toronto this spring. He will likely use the excursion to Niagara Falls as Rocky used that winter retreat from his battle against the Russian in Rocky IV. If that fails, Aldo has cleverly crafted a secret program to confuse his opponent by cloning himself, seen here in this government photo taken some years ago.
Warning, if you pass one on the street, do not feed an Aldo clone after midnight. They will likely get into their truck and hit your parked vehicle causing hundreds of dollars in spoiled Elk meat.
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